Healing After A Breakup

Broken relationship is perhaps one of the most difficult challenge to triumph over in life, a benchmark that once overcome would make the survivor more equipped and sturdier in facing other trials to survive.

The hardest phase after breaking up is the process of healing.  Normally, the party who is deeply hurt and affected is the aggrieved one who due to physical, mental and emotional pains is totally lost how to start picking up the pieces and starting all over again. 

Healing starts after acceptance.  That is, acceptance that the relationship has come to an end, that the situation is real and you will now have to face the consequences alone.  To start out, avoid expecting that your partner will listen to his conscience and return as this will only establish false hopes and lengthen the agony of waiting for something to turn out right when his behaviors or attitude before the breakup had proven otherwise.

Face the reality that you are now on your own and set out living by yourself or with your children if you have.   Consider the welfare of the people around you and those who will be affected by your misery.   Analyze the situation, strive to live peacefully, acknowledge that life is very precious and believe that you have the capacity to improve your fate by not depending on someone else.  Plan your life and implement what you conceive as appropriate corrections and support these with actions.  Be firm but play fair in your decisions and, most of all, pray and expect for God’s grace to help you through.

The saying “Time heal all wounds” is very true.  In the earlier stage when the pains are at their worst, you may seem to loss hope but don’t let this fool you.  Avoid wallowing in desolation for it will never help but on the contrary may promote self pity and lead to loss of self esteem.   Start getting busy with positive and productive activities.  Let time pass by engaging in actions backed up by plans and firm decision.  You may experience the first longest year in your life at this time, but looking back after the first anniversary will make you realize a considerable change in yourself and realizing this, the subsequent years will seem to be passing fast and you can feel that these are now smoother episodes to go through.  

Although this may not adapt to all cases but to some survivors, they came to realize years later that what seemed then to be an unbearable turning point in their lives have worked on their favor.   I can affirm the same not through material gauge but more on the peace and contentment that I now enjoy through the grace of our Lord.