Elaine was born from an impoverished family. From childhood to early adulthood she
struggled to survive and like any individual, dreamed of having a comfortable
life too. Thinking that having someone
at her side would improve her life she plunged into marriage at an early age
but it didn't take her long to realize that it was a disastrous decision. Marriage had made her life more miserable
and realizing that this partnership is turning to worst she decided to face life
bravely with her kids alone.
Thus, having survived a stormy married life, Elaine was
determined to do everything she could to provide a brighter future for her
children. Setting aside personal
comforts and pleasures, she devoted full time priority to her children’s needs
by venturing into various honest income generating resources, unmindful of
other people’s opinion and at times setting aside personal pride just to make her
aspirations for them come true. Years
later, her efforts paid off for all her children had been able to finish their
studies and found decent and good paying jobs.
This realization of her goal should have made the mother
completely happy knowing that she had accomplished her mission and successfully
survived difficult challenges. It turned
out however that her trials had not ended yet and this time she is questioning
herself where she had been amiss.
Another test that she is facing now is how to be able to
withstand one of her child’s nonchalant attitude towards her. It is painful for a wife to be taken for
granted by a husband, but being treated the same by a child whom you had strive to be equipped and capable in facing life is excruciating.
I don’t intend to take sides in this situation, but, children
who react this way now that they are in a much better position than the person
who had made it possible for them to attain what they are now is difficult to
understand. The issue here is not the
financial side but more on the lack of respect, concern, consideration and
gratefulness to the one who had planned, worked selflessly, and intended
nothing but a much better life for them. Generation gap may have something to do in
these parent-child conflicts and the clash in beliefs and principles had overshadowed
and totally discarded the value of relationship that had been built through the
years. Association of the child with people
her age who had poor relationships with parents may have some influence in the unbecoming behavior. Somehow, it’s upsetting that a
child could totally ignore a parent’s existence while living a daily normal
routine, while the mother is suffering in silence for this cold treatment. It would not be easy for anyone to
understand someone’s feeling unless he had been in the same situation, and in this
case, the uncompassionate child would only understand the mother’s sentiment once
he become a parent himself.
No one is perfect, and if in the child’s standpoint, it
was the parent who has erred, don’t the parent’s stance may also be the same? Would it mean too much if the child would chip
off a little of his pride and initiate reconciliation instead of flaunting an
“I couldn't care less” front and, assert that it should be the parent who
should make amend first? A parent’s joy
could not be measured by a simple display of sincere concern and thoughtfulness
and it would not cost much to do this. I
only hope that it will not be too late for the child to be aware of the offhand attitude that had pained his mother.
As children, it is preferable to make our parents feel
being loved instead of causing anguish while they are still alive for once
they’re gone, no amount of tears could bring back their life again. That is, the beauty and fragrance of a
bouquet of flowers could only be appreciated if the receiver could still see
and smell it, but, once the recipient is gone, these flowers no matter how
expensive will only rot un-admired on the place they are laid.
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