How Women Moved On After a Breakup

I can’t hardly sleep last night so I switch on the  radio and found myself tuned in to a program where listeners  responded to the topic of the day which is “Ways of Moving on After  a Breakup  of a Relationship.”  I want to share here some of their real life stories that I found interesting and may deserve mulling over.

One caller said that right after the breakup, she went to a parlor to have a haircut and “an appearance make over,” went shopping and, while eating alone -  watched and observed (or studied) couples actions and behaviours strolling in the mall.  She made “observing couples” anywhere a hobby and a habit and thinks that this had made her realize that the breakup was not her loss and inspired her to improve her craft and find someone better.

An office employee shared this story.  While still a student she discovered that she is sharing her boyfriend of two years with a schoolmate.  She was an honor student and this heartache had affected her studies.  She started making a novena to St. Jude and this helped her regain her determination to graduate with very good grades.  She was able to refocus her full attention to her studies (this time even better) confident that she will meet someone superior than her ex boyfriend if she will finish her studies. Now, she has a fine job with a prestigious company, is happily involved with a nice guy and they are already planning marriage sometimes next year.

One victim adapted the idea of recalling all the “not so nice moments” they had,  started analyzing the habits and attitude of her ex boyfriend which is directed mainly on his faults and incompetence and avoided  places that will remind her of him.  By these remedies she had succeeded in totally removing him from her system for a short period of time.

Someone who had felt affronted by her boyfriend’s habitual comparison of her with another woman and blatantly blaming her  for the failure of their relationship had almost lost her sense of worth.  Helpless she turned to God and joined spiritual community activities that helped her regain her self esteem.  She then started doing self evaluation and thought that despite the fact that she is not perfect she can’t agree to the accusations hurled against her.  Although it took her more than a year to recover, she is now in complete peace with herself and could not imagine living the same lifestyle she shared with her ex.

A lady now in her mid forties narrated a more sombre tale of how her boyfriend treated her as some sort of an assistant-cum-provider to attend to his needs.  Maybe unconsciously afraid that she is already on the “desperate age bracket” for she was on her late thirties then, she tried to understand and give in to his caprices hoping that he will learn to appreciate all these and give back the same level of affection.   It never worked however, and very miserable she resorted to prayers.  She said God had been her pillar of strength after the breakup and though she had remained single to date she has no regrets and is happy and contented with her present life.

One caller’s narrative that marked most was from a wife.  Her story was somehow offbeat as though this was about discord in a relationship; it did not end up to separation and main issue is how she intended to solve it.  She said that after some years of happy marriage she found out her husband’s affair with a neighbor who is close to them.  She made her husband choose between her and this other woman and when he seemed hesitant to make a decision she locked herself in their room cried heavily, prayed deeply then ironically committed suicide.  Good thing she was found immediately and was brought to the hospital in time.   She was comatose for 14 days but was lucky enough to have survived.  Her action brought her husband back to his right senses and so they tried patching up the problem and relocated to another place to start all over again. 

What she resorted to however is very foolish, dangerous and cowardly.  Committing suicide is never a solution for whatever problem.  It is very idiotic to think that this will put an end to physical, mental or whatever earthly pain which are all temporary in nature but overlooks the cost of ending your own existence (which you have no right to) in the life beyond which is eternal.  Fact is, caller disclosed that she still is not assured of her husband’s faithfulness as from time to times he has to be away from home for a day or two alleging work related reasons.  This time she prefers not to exert extra effort to investigate his activities and would rather spend her extra time to her children’s needs.

What is eminent among these testimonies is that most of these women were able to overcome the trials and able to move on by clinging on to prayers or calling on to God.  Worth pondering is the last case where she committed suicide right after praying.  Our God don’t judge us the way human do, and I think her sincere prayers had been instrumental why God granted her another chance to life, to help her realize the intensity of what she did and a chance too for eternal salvation.

I am sharing these testimonies with the hope that these will be of help to those who are on the stage of mending a broken heart.  Well meaning advises to people experiencing a broken relationship is very easy but sad to say, not that simple to execute when you are in the place of the offended person.  I’ve gone through a similar experience and just like most of the stories above it was seeking God for strength and wisdom that helped me moved on completely.