We have been hearing cases and were witnesses too to how wives endure
physical, emotional and mental pains commonly due to the same old and overused
reason that “they want to keep the marriage intact for the sake of the
children.”
Sounds rational but, what do you think of these cases?
Ana has totally accepted that she could not keep her husband away from
his other woman and maybe afraid too that her husband would rather give her up
than this woman she has treated the situation as a normal routine of their
family life. What’s repulsive is, she and her children are financially
deprived but the other woman is living comfortably courtesy of her husband.
Levy is a working mom who in her desire to make things easier and
comfortable for the family hired a household help to take up on household
chores only to discover months later that it was her husband’s physical
needs that she had mostly taken care of. Result, verbal tussle
which turned to physical abuse when she confronted him on this and her husband
pointed the blame on her for his immoral involvement with the household
helper. And from then on she has become a dysfunctional wife to her
husband as she could not do most things right in his eyes.
Another case is that of someone whose husband turned
alcoholic after the birth of their second child. Since then, her
husband’s daily concern is that he has ample supply of his favourite
concoctions and she had to take care of the family’s daily subsistence
including the educational needs of their children. As she is more
of the quiet type it seems that she had already adapted to this
arrangement to avoid arguments or squabbles in their home.
There are countless and varying cases that showcase how women bear these
physical, emotional and mental abuses. However, despite these agonies
some wives would rather prefer to remain subservient to their husbands’ wishes
and caprices for:
- They hope that their husband will reform and there will be a happy ending.
- They consider their husbands as lifeline to cling to thinking that life would be more hopeless without him.
- Some claims that they are not ready yet to face the world alone or as a single parent but until when will they be ready?
Marriage is a partnership and for it to succeed it is vital that both
parties have to contribute to make it flourish. It is not a one sided
affair where only one party is needed to keep the relationship afloat.
Wives are humans with intellect and emotions. Sometimes however in
the mayhem of physical and mental anguish they forgot to draw on intellect and
let emotions take control. They need to realize that they have a life of
their own to take care of and lives of their children to protect. They
should try to be realistic and analyze and recognize the loopholes in their
marital relationship. It is important for the wife to redeem her self esteem
and thus realize that she can still be an effective and productive person who
can do something to change and improve herself and her present situation.
She should believe in herself and determine if until when will she and her
children suffer. Only she and no one else could fight and triumph over her
own depression.
She needs to overcome hopelessness through :
- Assessing her skills and strengths and everything positive about her;
- Counting the blessings she has and those she expects will still be coming;
- Talking to people she can trust and knows that will always be by her side;
- Recalling the joys and achievements she have had when her husband was not yet a part of her life;
- Always saving something for herself.
To moms in distress, Life is beautiful and you have to appreciate it by your own eyes and not through the eyes of someone else. Be the strength and
hope of your children and prove to yourself for their sake that you can
stand firmly with your own two feet. Again, life is good if you want it to be
and coupled with faith in God it will be better - just push a little harder.
No comments:
Post a Comment