Where Is My Family?

Have you ever experienced feeling so alone even in the company of some people? Have you wanted to express what is in your mind but no one cares to listen or have no time to talk to you?  Are you seeking for answers on all the questions hovering around your mind but no one wants to explain or discuss things with you?

We are four within a modest family who used to be happy and enjoy life by just having each other.  We share each other’s joys, problems and achievements.  Though we are not financially abundant but we seem to have more as we felt strong, able and capable with the awareness that we love, respect and care for each other as a team.  Why this feeling then?  Honestly, I am personally seeking out for answers and explanations on the why and when did this situation started and, where this is leading to. 

My eldest son had to leave us almost a couple of years ago to start his own family.  We were all supportive of his decision as we know that he has all the right to have one and that this will make him very happy.  His marriage life had a blissful set off but as an inevitable part of life, months later they were faced with a  great trial which did not only affect their lives as a couple but our family too.  It was my daughter’s intervention which started to put back things in their married life in the right perspective again.

But I felt that somehow this had affected our lives too.  My daughter appears to be drifting away from us as she has kept most to herself and stayed most of the time inside her room when at home that our communications had likewise lessened.  Her leisure hours are spent with friends and her boyfriend and had very limited time allocated at home.  My youngest son is more involved with his friends and home is only for mealtime, computer activities and sleeping. That is, our bonding as a family is fading away.

Oftentimes, I just muse over the days gone where we as a family used to tease each other, go to malls to shop needed things, watch a movie, eat out on particular occasions, go to church to hear mass, and pray  at home together.   I really miss those days, but it’s impossible to bring back the hands of time.  Everything is changing and everyone is growing up and with these are the changes in priorities and outlook in life.

This may sound selfish and foolish but as a mother, how I wish at times that my children are still kids to be able to  see in their faces again  the glow of eagerness to be with me wherever I go,  the happiness of seeing me every time  I  arrive home from the office every afternoon and, experience the feeling of contentment whenever I hug them close to me.