Why Gold Jewelry for Personal Use

I am grateful to have worked in one of the well respected company based in the metropolis which is engaged in making and  selling finely handcrafted jewels made of gold and silver for a couple of years.  This had given me a firsthand basic knowledge on gold jewel processing and witnessed the interesting and intricate stages of turning a plain metal into a lovely finished product.

Gold is a precious metal that does not rust, does not change in quality of appearance and does not wear away  by frequent use and passage of  time.  It is likewise not affected by depreciation for its value appreciates over  time and is considered a good and secure investment.  Using this as basic material for a jewelry piece increases its value further.  A finely crafted jewel made of gold is a lasting work of art and deemed by the owners particularly women as moral boasters and confidence up lifters.  Despite the fact that it is expensive compared to other ornaments made from other materials yet owning one is worth the price due to its beauty and durability plus the continuous  increase in its worth.  Intricately and finely crafted ones are generally considered by many as their most precious and treasured personal collections and some very fine unique pieces owned by elite and royalties are handed down from generations to generations as heirlooms.

Value of gold jewels is appraised primarily based on the karat the setting is made of, the weight, and the quality of workmanship plus the worth of precious stones if there is.  Pure gold is classified as 24 karat and thus the number of karat of a particular piece represents the percentage of gold content of said item.  Example an 18k ring setting means that eighteen parts or 75% of total mixture is gold and six parts or 25% is alloy which is composed of other metals cheaper than gold.  A 14k gold bracelet means fourteen parts or 58.33% of its total mixture is gold and ten or 41.67% is alloy. Common alloy used in making gold jewels are silver and copper. 

In acquiring a piece of gold jewelry for personal use and investment set importance on quality which is primarily determined by these three facets:

• The gold karat as this determines the sturdiness of the setting.   Twenty four karat gold is soft but resilient hence it is not suitable for a jewelry piece as this could be easily deformed.  Observe how a  22k gold ring or earring if used regularly  have a propensity to be out of shape particularly if the setting is thin, that is this mixture is still pliable hence, not suitable to be used as a personal accessory  if intended to be worn regularly.   For me 22k is only good for pieces intended for display and not for daily body adornment.  The ideal setting for a gold ornament intended for frequent use is 18k or 14k as settings crafted from either of these mixtures is strong enough and could not be easily deformed particularly if you want your items set with precious stones. 
• The item’s design plays a great part too as this is considered a personality enhancer hence choose one that fits your style and will supplement your beauty.  Select a design that will be fashionable for a very long time.  You can seek the advice of your jeweler if you’re not so sure on this aspect
• Craftsmanship is likewise important as a finely made ornament compliments the individuality and taste of the wearer.   An exquisitely  made  jewel  also command a higher price since someone with an eye for  fine jewels would not have second thoughts in choosing  a quality work  creation over  a rough one of the same carat, weight, and design notwithstanding the price difference.

Gold ornaments does not only improve one’s image and lift up the wearer’s spirit  but also affords him to be in possession of an investment that will last long after  his  lifetime.

Life In A Jam-packed Government Office

This is a  personal observations of activities inside a crammed government office in an ordinary working day.

I have to submit a filled up form needed to update my personal records in a specific government office.  This is to facilitate the verification process relating to inquiry on my benefit claims with the said office.  This action was instigated when an ATM card issued under my account for this purpose had been cancelled.  

And this is what transpired in the process.

Day 1 – I assessed what would be the best  initial step to do, to inquire from the bank the reason behind the cancellation of my card or check with the government office first.  I opted for the latter hence, I proceeded to the concerned government  office to check why.  I  discussed  with the employee at the reception desk  the nature of my concern.  He explained that there is no need to check with the bank as instruction came from their office to suspend bank transactions in line with their records updating process. He then gave me a form to fill up and advised me to return next day as they had already issued sufficient numbers to clients who could be served for the day.

Day 2 – When I came back the following day the office is already overflowing with people.  I proceeded to the reception to ask for a number but when he checked my filled up form he instructed me to attached  a back to back photocopy of two valid Identification Cards which at the moment I had none.  My initial reaction was  to ask why this was not advised to me yesterday when I was given the form. This should have saved me time and effort  for I should have brought these requirements had I been told about it  but decided  to keep mum and left to procure these additional requirement.  It is good that I have my ID’s in my wallet and it took me almost thirty minutes to come back. This time I was given number 165 and I joined the queue of people waiting to be attended to.  I reported back at about ten thirty AM and was able to took my turn at about past two o clock PM.  That is almost four hours of waiting only to be told that there is nothing to be updated in my records as everything is in order.  The employee in charge then instructed me to check with the bank as there is no problem with my account.  Honestly I really don’t know what I had felt at that precise moment and since there is no more reason to further waste my time there I went to the bank to check.  It turned out that the bank had somewhat misclassified my account and they immediately reactivated it.

On the course of the waiting period in this office these are what I have observed:

• Insufficient staff to attend to members’ needs.  Additional staff would have made processing of transactions faster and thus minimise cases of people coming back the following day due to  lack of staff to serve them for the day.
• Some members upon submission of their documents were instructed to come back again due to incompleteness of requirements.  This could be minimized or avoided by a detailed checklist attached to every form to guide applicants/members on the needed requirements.

To sum up, I think it would be beneficial both to the employees and clients if our government offices would speed up the processing of documents by studying closely the area that needs to be improved.   Conducting an observations based on the “clients point of view”  on their existing policies and procedures would help them  identify bleak areas  that will enable them to implement measures and thus enhance the quality of their service.

Lament of A Weary Heart

Lord I feel so alone and lonely

Emptiness and gloom now shroud my soul

Aware that I’ve been so uncaring in so many ways

A worthless and defiant child who refused to heed your incessant calls

Lord I am so weak and shattered

By the world’s perfidious and beguiling ways

Which sucked up my strength and misted up my senses

The shackles that bounded me and pulled me down to my knees  

Lord please hear this hapless child's plea  

Enfold my restless psyche with your compassion

Open my eyes and touch and heal my callous heart

And let me feel the contentment, peace and security of your affection       

Lord, let me walk with you again

Take away my foolishness and selfish desires

Fill me up with your spiritual courage, strength and wisdom 

To be my gears and shield to overcome temptations and combat troubles

                                 

Lord, into your hands I now surrender

My fears, sorrows,   pains, my whole existence

Anxieties, greed and smugness had smashed my spirit

Blighted my acuity and showed my unworthiness beyond your kindness and love

Let this supplication be not too late

In begging for your forgiveness and mercy

Let your divine guidance and all powerful affection Oh Lord

Be my key into your kingdom and authorization to enjoy eternal grandeur

And this our Almighty God and Father

You’ve made possible for us to access

Through the sacrifice of your Son Jesus

Our Redeemer Who reigns with you forever.

Supporting Someone to Overpower Depression

Depression is defined as a mental state characterized by prolonged and disproportionate feeling of sadness, apathy, low-self esteem and despair.   This is a malady picking on persons of all ages, regardless of sex and race.   I am sharing these tips and ideas based on a “layman’s point of view” hoping this would help break the shackles of hopelessness and relive a more peaceful life.

This emotional state is triggered off by a myriad of causes.  Perhaps topping the list is failed relationships, then financial difficulties, physical flaws, failures in life, social inequity, and countless factors that lessen one’s zest to live.

A person is apparently suffering from this disorder if he: 

-       Is always suspicious of most people and everything around him.

-       Is always irritable and quick to anger

-       Finds it hard to get sleep or sleeps most of the time

-       Lacks appetite or has resorted to eating as a past time

-       Is either losing weight or gaining more weight  by the day

-       Is apt to notice more of the negative side of things and finds it difficult to appreciate the beauty of people and the goodness in most situations

-       Is prone to sickness and has a poor mental concentration

As the person sees himself as useless and hopeless it is all the more difficult to deal with him.  He may construe well meaning advises and attentions in a negative way hence extra care should be exercised.  

Thus to help him heal from his anxiety we need to:

-      Extend utmost understanding and patience

-      Let him feel that he is loved, important and needed

-      Help him realize his talents and positive traits and the benefits of putting these into use.

-      Help him find therapeutic activities like engaging in sports, hobbies and art that will help calm down his nerves and drive away his attention from his concerns and worries

-      Help him reach out to people

-      Make him understand the importance of seeking  psychiatric help (in worst cases)

Depression is not only self destruction but also devastation of people attached to the victim.   Strive to put meaning into his life again.  And, help him turn to God for strength and guidance.  Faith has changed countless lives for the better and our Lord is just a prayer away call on Him if you must.

A Martyr Wife’s Limitations

We have been hearing cases and were witnesses too to how wives endure physical, emotional and mental pains commonly due to the same old and overused reason that “they want to keep the marriage intact for the sake of the children.”

Sounds rational but, what do you think of these cases?

Ana has totally accepted that she could not keep her husband away from his other woman and maybe afraid too that her husband would rather give her up than this woman she has treated the situation as a normal routine of their family life.  What’s repulsive is, she and her children are financially deprived but the other woman is living comfortably courtesy of her husband.

Levy is a working mom who in her desire to make things easier and comfortable for the family hired a household help to take up on household chores only to discover months later that it was her husband’s physical  needs that she had mostly taken care of.  Result, verbal tussle which turned to physical abuse when she confronted him on this and her husband pointed the blame on her for his immoral involvement with the household helper.  And from then on she has become a dysfunctional wife to her husband as she could not do most things right in his eyes.

Another case is that of someone whose husband turned alcoholic after the birth of their second child.  Since then, her husband’s daily concern is that he has ample supply of his favourite concoctions and she had to take care of the family’s daily subsistence including the educational needs of their children.   As she is more of the quiet type it seems that she had already adapted to this arrangement to avoid arguments or squabbles in their home.

There are countless and varying cases that showcase how women bear these physical, emotional and mental abuses.  However, despite these agonies some wives would rather prefer to remain subservient to their husbands’ wishes and caprices  for:   

• They  hope that their  husband will reform and there will be a happy ending.
• They consider their husbands as lifeline to cling to thinking that life would be more hopeless without him.
• Some claims that they are not ready yet to face the world alone or as a single parent but until when will they be ready?

Marriage is a partnership and for it to succeed it is vital that both parties have to contribute to make it flourish.  It is not a one sided affair where only one party is needed to keep the relationship afloat.

Wives are humans with intellect and emotions.  Sometimes however in the mayhem of physical and mental anguish they forgot to draw on intellect and let emotions take control.  They need to realize that they have a life of their own to take care of and lives of their children to protect.  They should try to be realistic and analyze and recognize the loopholes in their marital relationship. It is important for the wife to redeem her self esteem and thus realize that she can still be an effective and productive person who can do something to change and improve herself and her present situation.  She should believe in herself  and determine if until when will she and her children suffer.  Only she and no one else could fight and triumph over her own depression.   

She needs to overcome hopelessness through :  

• Assessing her skills and strengths and everything positive about her;  
• Counting the blessings she has and those she expects will still be coming;  
• Talking to people she can trust and knows that will always be by her side; 
• Recalling the joys and achievements she have had when her husband was not yet a part of her life;  
• Always saving  something for herself.

To moms in distress, Life is beautiful and you have to appreciate it by your own eyes and not through the eyes of someone else.  Be the strength and hope of your children and prove to yourself  for their sake that you can stand firmly  with your own two feet. Again, life is good if you want it to be and coupled with faith in God it will be better - just push a little harder.

A Man Once Gives a Feast And We The Good People Were Invited

This is an inspiration from a story in the Bible where a master prepared a feast and ordered his servants to fetch those he had invited but the servants  returned  without the guests for they refused to come for various reasons.  Angered the master ordered the servants to gather the ordinary people in the streets, the poor, the crippled and the blind or those with disabilities and any one that they meet to partake of the banquet he has prepared.

Now applying this to our daily life, God has prepared heaven as a place for us to stay once our sojourn here on earth has ended.  He had invited us to share this with him through his prophets  who showed us the way.  But people refused to listen to them hence, He sent His only Son Jesus to open the door for us to His Kingdom.   

Jesus has taught and shown us through His teachings and examples how to claim our inheritance in heaven, by the manner on how we should live as true followers of Christ.  However, because we are so busy with our earthly concerns most often we are amiss in the performance of our Christian duties and we never run out of  reasons and excuses for these neglects.  Financial concerns for families and personal growth are good reasons but these should neither stop nor prevent us from doing our duties to our church or communities.  Most often those who are blessed with greater fortune and fame (the good people who were invited) the more they become engrossed with the desire to maintain or acquire more of what they now have.  Due to cravings for more riches and power we sacrifice our Christian beliefs and values just to attain our material and earthly desires.  The insatiability for a “fine life” is the thorn that makes us waver and prevents us from entering the narrow road to salvation as Jesus has said.

The less privilege however left with very limited resources had only their faith to cling to survive.  This insufficiency is what compels them to rely on their faith to attain peace and justice.  However, their miseries are used by the Lord too to touch the conscience of “good people” who are more comfortable in life. 

Rich and poor have similar chances to be saved and bestowed with the same rights to inherit eternal glory.  It is by the degree or the position in life that we differ on how to make it.  The more blessing we receive the more responsible we should be on how to use and share it the right way. That is, the more the Lord has blessed us the more He is expecting from us.  He has bless us more so that we could bless others too, but most often we value His blessing more than His call (invitation).  

God is using a  yardstick different from human standards.  We need His wisdom to understand and discover how to prove our worth so that when our time comes to be summoned, He would gloriously meet us to share in His banquet. 

Barley – Its Health Benefits and How It Helped Me Live A More Active Life

This article was not written to endorse a particular product but to share the effect Barley had on me since I started using the product. The immense health benefits of barley had been initially discovered through a comprehensive study made by a Japanese scientist Dr. Yoshihide Hagiwara.  His studies established that green leaf of barley when harvested as a young grass before the ovule begins to move up and the grain to develop contains vitamins, minerals, enzymes, amino acids, and is very rich in chlorophyll.  That is, it contains the most prolific balanced supply of nutrients that exist on earth in a single source. 

Now for some of the health benefits; 

• It is very rich in chlorophyll (the substance that give the plant its green color) a powerful antioxidant that help prevent development and proliferation of cancer cells and helps control body odor.
•  As a great source of vitamins, minerals, enzymes and amino acids that the body needs for proper metabolism, it helps strengthen the body’s immune system and its capacity to fight against diseases.
• It has high fiber content that help promote regular vowel movement and also good for weight loss.
• It lowers cholesterol level and blood pressure and thus reduces risk of heart disease.
• It is a powerful detoxifier that helps remove toxic and heavy metals from the body.
• It increases energy levels and improves digestion.

Most herbal products claim to possess also above benefits and while it may be true for I already have been using various natural /herbal products before, barley is the one which helped me a lot.

My major health concern then was my blood pressure which at its lowest register’s at 140/90.  I always experience dizziness and fear being left alone in the house or travel alone due to this discomfort.  Minors concerns were:  I am prone to sneeze when exposed to dust, pollution or foul odors which translate to either cold or cough and at times skin rashes too.  Along with these are occasional joint pains and some bruises that appear on some parts of my body.   I began experiencing these discomforts after the age of 50.  After several consultation and taking prescribed medicines which offered immediate relief but discomforts kept coming back I resorted to alternative or herbal supplements.  Aloe vera,  bee poolen, virgen coconut oil, taheebo tea, honey, apple cider vinegar are only some of the products I had tried and they had in a way helped improved my anxieties.  Sometimes I use a combination of these products to maximize their benefits.

Then I heard how a well-known radio commentator’s blood pressure improved by using barley.  I immediately searched for its benefits in the net and likewise where to get it in our place.   I am now using it for almost two years and had stuck to it since then.  Now my BP is between 110-120/80 every time I go for check up and the minor discomforts I have mentioned above are now gone including the occasional joint pains.  It also improved my sleeping habits for I could now fall into sleep easily and sleep longer.  Only exception is occasional cold as I still sneeze sometimes if exposed to dust and pollution but not as intense as before. 

I now travel alone anytime I want to and is more energetic and active.  After taking a cup of powdered barley juice diluted in cold or plain tap water (or 2 capsules) on an empty stomach once I get up from bed every morning, I right away attend to various house chores at hand. At times I got so engrossed with what I’m doing that I forgot to follow this up with a breakfast an hour after since I don’t  easily get tired unlike before.   I can now sit longer in front of a computer  without getting dizzy and no back or shoulder pains thereafter.  These results however were not acquired overnight for I became aware of initial improvement a month later.   

How Women Moved On After a Breakup Ways To Mend A Broken Heart

I can’t hardly sleep last night so I switch on the  radio and found myself tuned in to a program where listeners  responded to the topic of the day which is “Ways of Moving on After  a Breakup  of a Relationship.”  I want to share here some of their real life stories that I found interesting and may deserve mulling over.

One caller said that right after the breakup, she went to a parlor to have a haircut and “an appearance make over,” went shopping and, while eating alone -  watched and observed (or studied) couples actions and behaviours strolling in the mall.  She made “observing couples” anywhere a hobby and a habit and thinks that this had made her realize that the breakup was not her loss and inspired her to improve her craft and find someone better.

An office employee shared this story.  While still a student she discovered that she is sharing her boyfriend of two years with a schoolmate.  She was an honor student and this heartache had affected her studies.  She started making a novena to St. Jude and this helped her regain her determination to graduate with very good grades.  She was able to refocus her full attention to her studies (this time even better) confident that she will meet someone superior than her ex boyfriend if she will finish her studies. Now, she has a fine job with a prestigious company, is happily involved with a nice guy and they are already planning marriage sometimes next year.

One victim adapted the idea of recalling all the “not so nice moments” they had,  started analyzing the habits and attitude of her ex boyfriend which is directed mainly on his faults and incompetence and avoided  places that will remind her of him.  By these remedies she had succeeded in totally removing him from her system for a short period of time.

Someone who had felt affronted by her boyfriend’s habitual comparison of her with another woman and blatantly blaming her  for the failure of their relationship had almost lost her sense of worth.  Helpless she turned to God and joined spiritual community activities that helped her regain her self esteem.  She then started doing self evaluation and thought that despite the fact that she is not perfect she can’t agree to the accusations hurled against her.  Although it took her more than a year to recover, she is now in complete peace with herself and could not imagine living the same lifestyle she shared with her ex.

A lady now in her mid forties narrated a more sombre tale of how her boyfriend treated her as some sort of an assistant-cum-provider to attend to his needs.  Maybe unconsciously afraid that she is already on the “desperate age bracket” for she was on her late thirties then, she tried to understand and give in to his caprices hoping that he will learn to appreciate all these and give back the same level of affection.   It never worked however, and very miserable she resorted to prayers.  She said God had been her pillar of strength after the breakup and though she had remained single to date she has no regrets and is happy and contented with her present life.

One caller’s narrative that marked most was from a wife.  Her story was somehow offbeat as though this was about discord in a relationship; it did not end up to separation and main issue is how she intended to solve it.  She said that after some years of happy marriage she found out her husband’s affair with a neighbor who is close to them.  She made her husband choose between her and this other woman and when he seemed hesitant to make a decision she locked herself in their room cried heavily, prayed deeply then ironically committed suicide.  Good thing she was found immediately and was brought to the hospital in time.   She was comatose for 14 days but was lucky enough to have survived.  Her action brought her husband back to his right senses and so they tried patching up the problem and relocated to another place to start all over again. 

What she resorted to however is very foolish, dangerous and cowardly.  Committing suicide is never a solution for whatever problem.  It is very idiotic to think that this will put an end to physical, mental or whatever earthly pain which are all temporary in nature but overlooks the cost of ending your own existence (which you have no right to) in the life beyond which is eternal.  Fact is, caller disclosed that she still is not assured of her husband’s faithfulness as from time to times he has to be away from home for a day or two alleging work related reasons.  This time she prefers not to exert extra effort to investigate his activities and would rather spend her extra time to her children’s needs.

What is eminent among these testimonies is that most of these women were able to overcome the trials and able to move on by clinging on to prayers or calling on to God.  Worth pondering is the last case where she committed suicide right after praying.  Our God don’t judge us the way human do, and I think her sincere prayers had been instrumental why God granted her another chance to life, to help her realize the intensity of what she did and a chance too for eternal salvation.

I am sharing these testimonies with the hope that these will be of help to those who are on the stage of mending a broken heart.  Well meaning advises to people experiencing a broken relationship is very easy but sad to say, not that simple to execute when you are in the place of the offended person.  I’ve gone through a similar experience and just like most of the stories above it was seeking God for strength and wisdom that helped me moved on completely.

A Bully Boss – A Stressful Workplace In the Eyes of an Employee

Workplace is second home to every laborer and employee, where more than half of their waking hours and more than one third of their day is spent.  It is vital then that the place exudes an atmosphere of belonging for everyone to create a pleasant mood and enhance workers creativeness and productivity.

Every company’s operation depends on the attitude of the top official whose decision is the “bylaws” of the organization.  How the atmosphere  in the area pulsates is also an upshot of  the stance of the one who is in charge.  This is where the types of bosses come in and the most common are:

• Infallible Boss – this is someone who blames every problem or failure on someone else except himself.  He specializes in shifting the blame to others and always comes out with clean hands in awkward situations.  
• Hard to please Boss – An autocrat boss who thinks that he is always the right one and won’t listen to ideas of others.  
• Insecure Boss – Someone who is always suspicious of employees speaking or plotting against him.  At times he is quick to discourage ideas presented by a lowly employee only for employee to discover that a similar idea had been adapted later but boss gets the credit.
• Inconsiderate Boss – This is one who find it hard to believe that employees do get sick, and flood, typhoons or any form of calamities are valid excuses for someone to skip office.
• Control Freaky Boss – One who wants everyone to be involved in everything and wants to be advised, informed and consulted in every action and decisions.  These are the ones who is either afraid to trust everyone under him and wants to takes charge of overall operations.
• Irritable Boss – Is one who seems to consider smile and laughter as crimes, and believe that shouting and screaming orders, throwing files etc are stress removing exercises.

 Most ordinary workers could narrate a litany of bullying experiences and the samples above are just a few of these practices.  These are added benefits not discussed in the hiring process and generously shared to hapless salary seeking employees courtesy of their bosses.

Employees were hired mainly to improve the company’s output.   People who are happy and contented are more creative and productive compared to someone working with a heavy heart.  Employees are partners and the rallying force behind an organization’s success.  Treat them as teammates and they’ll strive to prove their worth, treat them as enemies and they’ll show their worst.

Infidelity Of A Married Woman - Why Wife Cheats

Talk about marital infidelities and foremost that comes to mind is a husband’s betrayal of the marriage vows. This concept is now passé and somehow the adage that “what men can do, women can do too and at times better (or worst),” is also relevant to this topic due to the rising  cases of women’s infidelities today. 

Let’s take a look on the raison d'être behind these infidelities.

Mynah claims to be deeply in love with her husband and she could not picture herself living with anybody else under one roof aside from him.  She says that their relationship is going on very smoothly.   They both enjoy doing things together and their activities are planned and accomplished as designed.  Now, why put their marriage in jeopardy by secretly getting involved with someone else?  She alleged to have found a new excitement and thrill in doing this discreetly, and a pleasure she found difficult to explain but added a spice into the monotonous routine of her life.   We may not agree with her line of reasoning but it only shows that infidelity takes place between happily married couples too.

Others are due to:

Adulterous Husband – This seems to be the prevalent reason for women to be unfaithful too.  Some women who could no longer stand their husbands’ philandering ways become rebellious and resort to being disloyal to them to get even.  This is the case where women feel less guilty (or not guilty at all). Generally, the wife sees this as a reality of her life and feels that she’s not doing wrong.

Distance – Loneliness is one factor that creates vulnerability in women that when someone shows concern and attention they easily fall for him.

Battered or Taken for Granted – Miserable conditions and the feeling of helplessness make women cling to whoever would give them a chance to come out of their wretched condition.  Someone under this category professed that she was forced to resort  to it  as this was one way for her to maintain her sanity and  the motivating force to continue on living.

Difference in preferences – According to Sheilah, pleasing her husband is almost impossible.  They argue on a lot of things as they seem to visualize things and situations on different aspects.  And this she only discovered after the marriage.  Tired from arguing and justifying her actions and decisions most of the time, she was drawn into an association with someone whom she shares similar interests which later developed into a more intimate alliance.

There are myriad of reasons why women go off track in their marriage life but above cases are the most common.  These bring to conclusion that boredom, revenge, loneliness, misery, need for ego or moral boosting could instigate wives to betray their husbands and find solace in another to seek protection and feeling of security and importance.  Often times, infidelities are unintentional but circumstances play a great part and influence them to play this dangerous game of life.  It also shows that not all women who cheat do not love their respective husbands.  It’s just that too much familiarity and too much routine in marital activities tend to wane down feelings to level of friendship thus losing the excitement and the passion they once have.

Despite all these, I think no one could rightfully denounce them and referring to them as “scarlet women” is inappropriate and callous.  We had not experienced and felt the sentiments they had gone through.   In the Bible, Jesus himself did not condemn the woman that the crowd wanted to stone to death for adultery, so what right do we have to do it?

Making The Right Decisions In Life

There are moments in our lives that we feel completely lost.  It looks as if everything we do, plan and expect are not turning out the way we want it to be.  Sometimes it seems that fate is working against us and opposing us from all directions.  This is where we are in a quandary on how to put our lives back to the right perspective.   Once we are faced with choices that will affect not only our personal life but that of our family or people close to us we tend to be chaotic in making decisions.  Commonly it is a tussle between our personal happiness and growth or the wellbeing of persons close to us. How to make the right decision then that will affect not only our own life but these people too is a tough task.   

As there is no blueprint to guarantee a right decision, perplexed we resort to asking for divine signs to help shape our  judgment.  We hardly ever realize that the signs are just out there glaring at us.  We just have to be sensitive to recognize it. Try to listen to our hearts.  If it says it is then it is.  An opportunity at hand may present a great promise of material abundance and glory but if we feel that this is not what the Lord wants then let us reconsider our options.  Listen to the voice of the Lord within us for He will show us more possibilities that will give out more than what we expect.    Don’t ask from the Lord for signs but pray for His divine guidance in making decisions.  

Although God give us the freedom of choice but we should make every effort to pick the right one.   If faced with alternatives which are all laudable, choose the one that is most morally acceptable.  God answers us in practical ways and talks to us in languages that could only be understood by the heart.  He gives signs that we should be able to discern by consulting our conscience and listening to our hearts.  Sometimes our choice may not be financially rewarding but the joy and inner peace it brings are priceless blessings worth more than any material thing or grandeur.

Situations  that appear to be complex are more often than not had been conjured by us.  Do not be blighted by problems but treat these as tools designed to make us stronger and wiser.  Get ideas from people close to us and well meaning friends.  They maybe mediums used by God for us to be aware of His messages.  Life is simple we should not attempt to make it more complicated to really enjoy it.

My Lessons In LifeWhy the Lord Grant/Does Not Grant My Requests

I was born to a family (of nine siblings) who was not abundantly blessed financially.  Lack of material comforts had not been an issue to us then as I remember that despite minor troubles we were happy and united always.

It was my grade one teacher who instilled into my consciousness the advantage of having not only all your needs but also your wants at your immediate disposal and; education as a gateway to financial advancement.  I nurtured a dream to finish my studies to improve our way of life notwithstanding my parent’s capacity to make this attainable.  Maybe I have held on innocently to my parent’s words that God grants the wishes of good children for I presume that I was a good child to them.  The Lord granted that dream and I finished college through the efforts of my parents.

In my adolescent age or “stage of infatuations and daydreams,” I wished to end up with a loving, responsible and faithful life partner.  I even proposed a situation as sign of the Lord’s approval that the person who’ll be in this circumstance is the right one.  The proposed situation materialized but I did not marry that person.  We were colleagues who shared various similar interests but he was four years younger than me and this fact prevented me from nurturing that romantic relationship he then wanted us to evolve to.   I ended up marrying someone who possessed (it seemed to me then) the three qualities enumerated above in the courtship stage.   My husband was a very caring, responsible and loving person and I felt so lucky to have married him.  He was my best ally, supporter, protector and provider.  That was during the early years of our married life.  When our third and youngest son was born however, he started hanging out with personalities working in the entertainment field.  That affected his way of life and influenced his personal preferences. He acquired vices that he shuns to before.  We started disagreeing on various issues  even on trivial ones.  Finally, the  marriage ended.

It seemed that my world had turned upside down.  I was totally lost.  I don’t know what to do, whom to turn to and most of all, how to raise our three kids aging 7 years, 4 years and an infant   left in my care.  I was really scared and confused and felt so miserable.  I am a Roman Catholic Christian who prays my daily prayers and goes to church regularly on Sundays.  Thinking then that I have not been remiss in my obligations as a Christian I questioned the Lord countless times why He allowed it to happen.  There were even instances that I entertained doubts if God really hears and answers prayers.  I sought refuge from the sympathies of friends but once I’m alone with my children depression starts setting in again.  Totally helpless and hopeless I turned to the Lord again seeking strength, support and guidance to ease my mental and emotional pains.  This was where I began feeling relieved and started seeing or realizing the “plus factor effects” it brought to our lives.  With God’s grace my children grew up to be responsible adults.

Now my eldest son is already married and is building a family of his own.  My two others kids (as I still consider them) are both young adults now.  Both have completed their college studies and have decent jobs. Normal to any family, my children and I have also petty misunderstandings between us at times but these are eventually settled.

These  experiences taught me these lessons:

• If faced with uncertainties we only need Jesus to show us the way and the means to survive.
• There is more to life than what we see feel or touch.  What we think is best for us may not be the case in the eyes of our God.  He is the best judge who truly knows what is good for us.
• That God is using unfortunate events and people specifically  close to us to make us discover the lessons He wants us to learn and the way of life he wants us to lead.

God bless everyone.

COPING WITH FLOOD WATER WOES AND LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH IT

Our home is located in one of the areas in the Philippines devastated by a massive flood caused by typhoon Ondoy.  We were residents of the place for almost seven years before the flood’s occurrence.  That was our first exposure on this type of calamity.  According to testimonies of old residents and those who have lived here since birth, no flood of such magnitude had ever devastated the place.  Fact is, place was considered a “flood free zone” until the Ondoy incident.

That experience left a mark in the minds of the residents in the area.  Others cannot get over the terror it brought to the populace that every time there is heavy rainfall particularly at night everyone is on alert.  Some may say that I was lucky for I was in the province at the time of the unforeseen disaster but truth was, psychologically I was more scared stiff watching the events on television.  I was so apprehensive of my youngest son who was the only one left at home at the time. My eldest son left early morning for work and the 2^nd one, a daughter was out of town attending a friend’s wedding.  Luckily both were on safe grounds.  Flood at our place started at about past eight in the morning.  Our last contact with my son was before noon and he told us that water was almost shoulder deep outside the house and is rising very rapidly.  Water seems to be rushing in from all directions according to him.  An hour after noontime, my two children and I who were only communicating through cell phones totally lost contact with him. I was already in a panicky situation as there is no one to ask assistance.  Everyone I know who live near our home could not be reach by any means of communication.  The events shown on television only scared me more.

It was already 12noon of the following day when my eldest son was able to reach our place taking odd means of transportations and walking along muddy streets as regular transport services were mostly not available.  I was truly relieved when he called and told me that his brother is safe.  Although it was very depressing that the whole house was in total disarray and everything inside were either partially or totally damaged but we were still very grateful that my son is safe and suffered no injury.  The next challenge was cleaning.  It focused on disposing and removing evidences of all debris the flood had brought.  It took almost two weeks to partially restore the place to a “comfortable/ liveable condition” again.  Everything from clothes to house hold utensils, furniture and appliances had been damaged and it’s like starting from scratch again.  That was a very harrowing experience for the whole family and also to every resident of the place.

Now, barely a month before the 3^rd year commemoration of Ondoy flood, we are again experiencing heavy rains for the past days.  This time there is no typhoon but rains are brought in by Southwest  Monsoon  referred to locally as “Hanging Habagat” which is normally an aftermath of a typhoon.   This continuous moderate to heavy rains set off overflowing of the creek near the subdivision where we live.  For the past three days this water overflow had encroached into the streets resulting to a two to three feet flood and managed to creep into some homes.  Out of fear, we padlocked our place on the 2^nd day of street flooding and decided to stay (until the rain pour stopped completely) in my eldest son’s (now married) place which is completely flood free.  Through phone communications with a neighbour we expect that though flood level is far below that of Ondoy, still we have a lot of cleaning and maybe some repairs to immediately attend to once we get back.

To sum up, I think we are all duty bound to pay back whatever damage we had been doing to mother earth.  This is the only place (now known to man) in the whole universe that God has provided the natural necessities for life (especially human being) to exist.  It is then our duty not only to protect but to nurture everything mother nature supplies us.  It is not too late yet to give back what it has given us.  

In Quest of “Brotherhood Acceptance” through Hazing?

This August 2012 our local newspapers, radios and television reports exposed the latest disappointing incident - the DEATH of a law student due to multiple organ failure caused by hazing. Through an anonymous informant, the parents found the victim in a hospital already dead and with bruises all over the body.  Imagine the agony of the victim’s family particularly the parents who nurtured their child so much from conception to this age. Parents will do almost anything to provide a bright future for their child and every way possible to protect him from harm.   They will unquestioningly shed sweat, blood and tears to make his dreams come true.  What right do these people have then to inflict this atrocious harm (resulting to death) to somebody’s precious child?  

Is hazing really the most effective way in promoting brotherhood  of/for fraternity?   Brotherhood for/of what?  If brotherhood stands for “affection and loyalty” for people you have in common and; fraternity is “friendship and support” between people who shares the same interest or profession, I cannot understand why employ hazing to gauge the worthiness of a neophyte to be part of the group.  This episode is only one of the countless cases and surely won’t be the last while these organizations remain steadfast in their belief that hazing is the “most effective?” approach to ensure sincerity and loyalty of aspiring “brothers to be.”

Pardon me if I may sound bias but as a parent I really could not figure out why resort to so much cruelty   to test the credibility of aspirants in joining an association.  Could this not be done in a more humanly manner or much better in a positive or productive way?  I don’t denounce fraternity as a whole for people would not risk their limbs and lives if it has nothing beneficial to offer to members.  It is the initiation rites conducted which results to this cases specifically death that I could not tolerate. No matter how noble are the objectives of an organization if it employs a method morally unacceptable to the general public and creates disaster to anybody these intentions are totally shattered.

Please refrain from destroying somebody’s life (and dreams) for your quest of loyalty from aspiring members.  Save the parents, families and friends from anguish because of this inhumanly act.  What if this happens to you or to a member of your family?  Why not adapt an initiation that results to productivity or positivity?  There are countless ways to channel your ideology of a praiseworthy fraternity.  Prove it not only to your members but to the public as a whole that your organization really deserves respect and honor.

We, as parents only want and wish the best for our children hence we expect fraternities to show a kind of leadership that dignifies their association.  Do away with any form of violence and guarantee that your "brotherhood" truly denotes what this word stands for.

Enjoying Life And Everything It Offers

These perspectives may not be considered effective guidelines to lead a happy life by everyone.  I am aware that some will disagree with me in some aspects but these are the measures that I have mostly exercised to survive the challenges and enjoy the blessings of life.  There are times that I could not live out these self imposed rules too.  It is not that easy for I am also touchy at times and thus could not control the outburst of my emotions.

My ideas of how to be happy are: 

• Enjoy life by just being yourself. 
• Don’t step on other people’s toes as by doing so you might also harm yourself in the process. 
• Don’t worry what others think about you, if you have a clear conscience, is not guilty of anything and, not taking advantage of anyone. 
• In times when your demeanor may not agree with the norm society is used to but honestly know that this won’t harm a single soul then do it your way. 

Respect somebody’s opinion that does not conform to yours.  You do not know how he has survived life but surely how he lived through it is different from yours, just like how his opinions and beliefs differ from you.  Generally people who are rebellious harbor shades of unhappy past.  This feeling of being taken for granted or taken advantaged of may have triggered a repulsive behavior to protect himself.   

Now if you can’t avoid being bullied or looked down to try these:  

• Cry if you need to, this will help patch up wounded ego.  
• Avoid plotting revenge to get back.  This is a pointless mission and  a waste of energy that may lead to further disaster.  
• Offer your pains from humiliation to the Lord to compensate for your offenses to Him.  Let the incident serve as an inspiration for you to strive harder on improving your potentials and uncover measures to redeem yourself.  
• Look at it this way.  The “bully” is insecure of you in some facets.  Why then waste time on you if he is confident of his dominance over you?

There are persons who notwithstanding their prominence seemed to have forgotten how to smile, are easily annoyed and are apt to detect flaws on every situation.   I see this stance as an affirmation that real happiness and contentment in life are beyond material wealth and power.  Enjoy where you are now and what you have at hand.  Desire or longing for material comforts in life for self and love ones is a normal and healthy sign that you are living a normal life.  It is on how you want to attain or acquire these that matters.  Accept your friends for what they are and help them see light if they seem to be naughty at times. It is not important where they came from, but what counts most is where they want to go in life.

Most of all, give thanks to the Lord for everything.  A grateful attitude progresses to a happy and contented (heart) life.

Violence to Parents?

So much have been written about domestic abuses or violence between children and parents.  Most of these cover parents’ abuses to children and how these had affected the children physically, emotionally and psychologically.  It is seldom that  abuse of elders, i.e. children’s mistreatment of parents which are also widespread are taken into consideration.  These are common particularly for parents who at their advance years are no longer match to their adult children physically.

There had been news and documented stories of parents who had been left to roam and live in the streets, locked up, denied proper feeding and living conditions and, worst are killed by their children.  Foremost however are verbal abuses that may not harm physically but may leave a deep emotional and psychological scar to a parent.  Usual victims are mothers who in most cases prefer to keep it to themselves to protect their children.  At times they even felt guilty thinking that they may not have brought up their children properly to behave that way.

Yes! Children have the right to be listened to and have their opinions heard just like everyone else.  However, no matter how right the child is, due respect demands that when the parent speaks, right or wrong let the parent speak first and listen to his arguments to understand better where or from what side is he coming from.  Whether how right or wrong a parent is, the child should refrain from answering back offensively.  Yes! Parents are not always right and in some instance would not accept that they are at fault but, this does not give the child the right to lambast, degrade, or abuse their parents in whatever manner.  If a parent is too unreasonable, seeking the help of a third party who has great influence over the parent will be a great help.  Children ought to give importance to their parent’s feelings that tend to be more sensitive as they grow older particularly at the point or circumstance where they are forced to be totally dependent on their children either physically, emotionally, and financially for support.  Useless as they may seem but they still possess the typical ego that is most perceptive when at its lowest.

For a parent, no matter how wrong his child is, there is always room in his heart to understand and forgive.  Parents have been there to welcome their children to this world, stayed beside them in their toddling years, shared their joys and triumphs, supplied strength and hope in their pains, fears and disappointments and, supported and shielded them in their struggles to help them become the persons they aspired to be.  From the time of his conception a child had been a part of a parent’s prayers and will always be until the parent’s last day on earth. In times where a parent has unintentionally hurt his child, he too suffers and felt remorseful of the pain he caused though it may not seem too obvious.  No amount in whatever structure could compensate the physical, emotional, psychological and financial struggles the parent have to surmount through the years to ensure a fine foundation for  his child future.  Real parents should never stop caring and loving their children not only in this world but also through the world beyond. 

Maybe then it won’t make an adult child a lesser person if he will at least afford a little respect or ponder a bit if what he is doing or has done to his parent is a justifiable way to get back.   And, had his actions made him a happier and a fulfilled individual?

FINDING WORK ONLINE Not Only To Earn Money.....

A lot of people spend most of their time searching for internet sites or activities that will bring in cash or possibly earn them big money upon joining. Countless individuals and groups had acquired immense wealth by trading or promoting their skills or innovative ideas online but, these are the ones who are equipped with exceptional know-how, mastered the essential skills needed and persevered. For newcomers who lack internet and computer expertise this is a herculean task to accomplish and unfeasible to be attained overnight. Just like any other field you also need to exercise fortitude and acquire the aptitude to find a niche to succeed otherwise, you will only be disappointed. Take into account also the web scammers who victimize aspiring newbies through their deceptively enticing programs/sites that flourish in cyberspace.

Basically for stay at home moms like me, internet is a great source of ideas on ways to earn money without leaving home, without a boss to fear to, and at the convenience of working at own schedule.  Due to lack of technological knowledge however, I realized that hour’s spent earning offline would fetch in more hard cash compared to same hours spent trying to earn on jobs and earning sites online.  Failure to find legitimate sites that would generate a decent and stable source of income from the web motivated me to refocus my search to endeavors that may benefit me in some ways.  True enough web exploring is a “gizmo” to:  conquer boredom, discover health tips and information on how, what and where to of anything that one desires or needs.  Some of the activities that earn money for me too while in the comfort of my home were sourced from the internet.  However, what delighted me most is, internet helped me find a work that does not translate to earning money but presented a new passion which I enjoy doing now, and that is writing.  I am neither a writer at heart nor an expert in grammar or literary rules and mechanics (fundamental qualities for a good writer) but I love to read.  Reading articles about struggling writers had inspired me to try this field not as a professional but as a way to express whatever comes to mind.  I found out that putting across an opinion or view of anything significant in record could perk up one’s mood, vanish stress and create a feeling of fulfilment.

They say writing could sharpen one’s memory and I wish it would improve mine which I honestly admit had somehow deteriorated compared to the quality of memory of my younger years.  It is heartbreaking to witness persons who can’t recognize family members and close friends or succumb to dementia in their senior years.  I wish and pray that writing would not only keep me away from this malady but will likewise expand my mental capacity and aid in keeping me mentally active until my final years.  May the Lord Almighty grant this plea.

Expecting Gratitude

Have you ever been part of someone’s accomplishments or helped him achieved something he aspired for?  How then would you feel and react if this person had taken you for granted,  and ignored you when he got hold of his goal?  

Typically, a provider would be greatly disappointed at a recipient’s nonchalant attitude on matters like this since subconsciously he also wants to be accorded credit for the other person’s achievement. But languishing just because someone’s has been ungrateful is  punishing yourself.  So why not try these:  

• Forget whatever assistance you have extended  and don’t expect gratitude in any form.  Let the merit of what you had done to him be between you and the Lord. 
• Don’t’ force yourself on him.  Seeking ways to commit to his memory that you paved the way for his success or to attain the position he has now is subtly reminding him that he owes you for that.  Gratitude is not to be imposed; it should come sincerely from the heart.

Human by nature has a propensity to seek recognition in everything he does. As Christians however, we should strive to give without expecting something in return.  Extend help that you are capable of but don’t demand or anticipate any compensation. Avoid getting bitter should the recipient fails to.  Help unconditionally sans any purpose of a benefit or reward later.  When we do something good, do it because we want to and for the glory of God. By this, we will not be affected if the beneficiary failed to acknowledge the role we played.  A modest benefactor who remain the same type of person notwithstanding the beneficiary’s lack of appreciation deserve an accolade.

A selfless benefactor is Lord’s good steward who opens himself to more opportunities to share. He may lost something worldly in substance but he will gain graces and respect.  An ungrateful beneficiary may enjoy what he gained but until when?   And, should he need assistance later will he be able to get one easily if the person ought to help him knows his character? 

A niche to express anything that comes to mind. Lord shun me from smugness and help me express everything here your way.